Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
