You're completely useless in the revolution.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
