You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
