Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
