we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
