So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
