So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
