I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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