U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize