it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
