Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize