More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i've created a new STD.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
