At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
