After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it glows. i had to have it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
