Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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