Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
