Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
