so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The best revenge is premature balding
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
