good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
