I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
