okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
