I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
