Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
