Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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