Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
