Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize