is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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