you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
