Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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