Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
