just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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