I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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