he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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