Midget sex pt 2 tonight
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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