I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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