my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
