We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
