theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
