I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You made out with two different species that night
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
