I think I am morally bankrupt
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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