I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
