but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
