That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
