Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
