I got chris browned last night
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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