did you get engaged???
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
