Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
