i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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