so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
