did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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