Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
