my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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