i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
