My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize