I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
