Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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