I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
