i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
