So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
