sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
