just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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