Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
