great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
