...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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