Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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