Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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