the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
