Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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