Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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