thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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