Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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