i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize